7 Lessons Learned from the Biker People

Yesterday, Linda and I made a day trip escape to Helen, GA.  Unbeknownst  to us before our arrival, Helen is the site of a biker rally this weekend.  It was Harley Davidson Country up in that bitch.  Part of the time it was really cool; part of the time it was edging on scary.  When it was all said and done we learned a number of lessons, and I feel it is my duty to share some of them:

(1)  Harley Davidson isn’t just a bike.  Harley Davidson is a way of life.

(2) “If you’re reading this I lost the bitch” shirts are considered cliche/lame by the biker people.

(3)  The average biker man wouldn’t wear the item referenced in #2 because he knows his biker lady would fuck his shit up in a major way.

(4)  If you tell a biker chick that you like her panties she’ll probably drop her chaps to give you a better view for a picture.  (Photographic evidence up and to the left.)

(5)  Biker men have a talent for getting women to flash their boobs as they’re shooting the hooch.  No beads required!

(6) The biker people are a nice people.  I can’t tell you how many times a biker bumped into me and I thought I was going to have to break my bottle for a bar fight but instead heard the words, “I’m sorry” or “Excuse me.”

(7) Cute gay bikers exist!  (I hope he calls. Tennessee isn’t that far.)  

Dolly Makes It A Better Day!

I had the extreme pleasure of seeing Dolly Parton with Jewels at Dolly’s Worldwide Better Day tour stop at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre on 8/3/11.

Dolly started the concert singing “Walking on Sunshine,” which isn’t my favorite cover that she’s performed but the song did set a great mood for the concert.  Dolly’s new album is full of optimism, hence the album name.

Straight Chris likes to tease me because I have special place in my heart for songs that Dolly has covered.  Honestly, it is like that special place is a whole new chamber that was created just for songs that Dolly has covered.  Allegedly, I might have squealed like a gaggle of school girls when she performed my favorite covers: “Help,” “Stairway to Heaven,” and “Shine.”  (Remember, Chris, Dolly won a Grammy for her cover of “Shine.”)  Dolly also covered “Son a Preacher Man,” which I don’t think she’s ever recorded on an album; however, after hearing her work that song over she left me hoping that she’ll cover it on a future album– Please, Dolly!  Please!!!

Of course Dolly sang the songs that stand out in her career because they were hits– “9 to 5,” “Jolene,” “Islands in the Stream,”  “I Will Always Love You,” “Here You Come Again,” “Coat of Many Colors,” and “White Limozeen.”  She also sang the touching “Smokey Mountain Memories,” which almost makes me cry bitch baby tears.  The song is a tribute to her father and gets me every time.  Baby Jesus in a Manger must have been listening because Dolly performed an acoustic version of her heartbreaking “Little Sparrow.”  Holy Mother… she blew Verizon up hitting all those notes.  I thought Jewels and I would need the tissues she packed.  Jewels did need the tissues when Dolly talked about and sang “Coat of Many Colors,” which Dolly openly states is her favorite of all her songs.  I digress– it amazes me how a woman married for 45 years can write about heartbreak and heartache like she’s experienced repeatedly throughout her life.  It only goes to proves that Dolly is a song writing genius.

When it came time to sing songs from her new album, Better Day, Dolly sang all of my favorites:  “Together You & I,” “Holding Everything,” “The Sacrifice,” and “In the Meantime.”  I was one happy ‘mo.

And, when it was time to end…. why does a Dolly concert have to end…. Dolly came back for an encore.  She closed out with her standard encore song, “I Will Always Love You,” and added “Light of A Clear Blue Morning.”

Bottom Line: This concert was a treat; Better Day being a fitting name.  I left having a better day…. really… it made me have a better week.  Thanks, Dolly!